I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
