and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
