it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize