OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
When are your genitals available?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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