Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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