Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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