you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
