Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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