You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
