I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dignity is for republicans.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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