Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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