she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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