where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
