Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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