I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
