hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
