i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
