i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
