A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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