i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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