standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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