it was like eating out sand paper
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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