in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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