I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
