I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
