I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It was like getting head from an anaconda
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
