every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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