Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize