Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
