Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
