we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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