i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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