I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize