what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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