We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
