3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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