thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
