I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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