areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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