Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He passed out mid-signature
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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