i just google imaged poop.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize