in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
