Someone shit on the floor
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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