OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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