I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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