i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
