why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
