okay pat passed out under dana's car
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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