why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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