i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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