this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
