The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Boobs speak an international language.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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