he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
