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so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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