He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
