He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
