Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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