Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
