It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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