ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
