I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize