It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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