we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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