There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize