But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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